Category: Personal Opinion

5 Secrets to Turn Failures into Lessons

Ever wondered why successful people put so much emphasis on learning from mistakes? It’s a universal truth that life is all about turning your failures into a path of success but it’s also through failures themselves that we get exposure to the harsh realities of life.
The secret lies in learning from your failures rather than getting disappointed by them. As a general rule, this principle can be applied in all walks of life but it becomes much apparent in our practical life. The harsh reality is that you will be confronted with multiple points of failure when it comes to people and the jobs you undertake.

Accept Your Failures

The power of accepting your mistakes or errors is the first rule you need to keep in mind. In essence, accepting failure showcases your willingness to learn. Some of us, due to ambition or egoism, deny the fact that they failed and instead blame their failures on others as a source of keeping themselves motivated. This can be catastrophic for your career or life. If you do not accept your failures, chances are your learning capacity will remain stagnant.

Don’t Let Failure Consume You

When you have failed in a certain project, don’t think that it should have been easy. It will be hard, you will be tested and the burden of proving yourself will be immense. This is the point where most people break down. They either give up or become accustomed to failures and forget to learn. This is where you need to accept the fact that you made the mistake and you’re willing to prove yourself.

Don’t Fear Failure

Don’t be afraid to fail. Failure itself is not dangerous. The danger lies in the fear of facing failure itself. The thing is when we fail whether in establishing a positive relationship with a coworker or in a task. Our instinct tells us that such a situation should be avoided in the future. This is where you need to change how you think. Do not avoid chances of failing. Rather, when you’re confronted with failure, learn it and make sure to not repeat the same mistake.

READ THIS: For a strategic guide that will help you move beyond mistakes to fulfill your potential and achieve success.

Consistency Is The Key To Success

We are not talking about the consistency to fail. We are emphasizing the point that learning from your mistakes should be a consistent factor. The fact is maybe you’ll fail multiple times and you might get overwhelmed by the criticism. During this process, you fail to learn anything significant. It is all about how well you can manage criticism and become consistent in learning.

Learn From The Failure Of Others

You are not the only one who fails. There are successful people out there who have failed before. You will have coworkers who will be failing may be in the same tasks as you. The point is, consider the world you live in as a place where there are opportunities to learn at all times. Learning from the failures of others can be a great way to avoid going down the same road in the future.

3 Ways to Help Combat Fear of Failure


Most of us have experienced the feeling of fear of failure in some aspect of our life. And over your lifetime this fear of failure has become stronger and sometimes paralyzing your way forward. When you remember your childhood, this was seldom the case. Think about children working towards their first walking steps, learning to ride a bicycle, learning to drive as a teenager, that sheer determination to persevere. What happened to that bounce back to try and keep trying?

Feel the Fear . . . and Do It Anyway

Journey of self-reflection

In my journey of self-reflection, I have ascertained that the desire to bounce back has faded due to a lack of intentionality on my end. Also, I have been identifying what triggers the feeling of fear of failure. You will find that your triggers are different, however, the feeling of fear of failure is the same. Do you desire to combat this fear? This is not a one-time solution over and done. Every day you get to work on this.

Here are three ways that will help you start to combat this feeling.

  1. Recognize failure is an inevitable part of life – Acknowledging this truth is a good place to start. Like most addiction recovery plans, the first step to recovery is admitting that you are addicted. In the same fashion, to help combat the fear of failure requires acknowledging that failure is bound to happen in life. Easier said than done, right?  Whatever the possible cause, as to why the fear of failure exists in your life be it patterns from childhood, perfectionism, false self-confidence, ego, your instinct is denial. I hear you and the journey is just beginning.
  2. Identify what triggers you – In most instances, people have not taken the time to examine and identify the triggers that cause them to feel the fear of failure. Keeping with the theme of recovery, knowing your triggers is about continuously taking inventory of your life reflecting back on the situation(s) in which you felt the fear of failure. Doing this provides you the ability to recognize situations that could lead to the feeling. My triggers are in times of stress, crisis, and discomfort, pain … to name a few. What are yours?
  3. Building resilient habits – Now that you have acknowledged, identified, it is time to act. When it comes to feeling, I can attest there are action tendencies that we naturally fall into and such tendencies can take us in a spiral. In my case examples like losing patience, easily irritated, becoming nonresponsive… none of these are resilient habits. The point is that we have the ability to regain control in the near term. Therefore, putting in place resilient habits that can help you regain control of that feeling is a saving grace. I personally have added the habit of reading books or listening to audiobooks of people who are successful and have embraced failure along their journey (Refer: Book Resources). This has been very helpful to me. It is all about starting small and finding what works for you.

The idea is not to alleviate the feeling but to manage and have control of how you react when you feel that way. Everyone has to start somewhere. These are not exhaustive, but a starting point from which to begin the process.

No matter who you are and at what stage or state of life you are in, fear of failure is part of your life. What are you doing about it? Have you made it a growth opportunity?



Life’s virus – Healing individualism

Life feels like a blur!
We humans are built for community and community starts with strong families.

Use a Debit Card Instead – Breaking Habits

It is insanely difficult to break habits especially when one grew up not knowing otherwise. Our generation has grown up knowing that credit cards are part of life. It is no fault of our own but as we are becoming smarter than the credit card companies that are making money off our poor habits. It’s time to start small and break those habits.

You can search the internet or “The Google” and find lots of articles that can provide you with the pros and cons of using a debit card vs credit card. That is not my intent for this writing. However, take time to do your due diligence and research about using debit cards vs credit cards. My intent is to help you change the habit of using credit cards to using debit cards so that in the long run it will uproot the misconception of credit that has always been a part of our lives.

As a husband and dad, every day I continue to learn how to use positive reinforcement. As a parent, I usually catch myself telling my kids what not to do and seldom instead tell them what to do. Hence, why the title to use debit cards instead is not a coincidence. The beauty of this psychological phenomenon is that it works. Also remember, we are running a marathon to change habits which takes time and we must start somewhere.


So why use a debit card to start with? It is not rocket science.

1. With a debit card, plain and simple, you spend your own money.

This gets you in the habit of using money that you already have and worked for. It will also reinforce making a budget that plans your spending for that month. Creating the budget is probably going to be a big huddle in trying to break the habit of relying on credit cards. So, be patient with yourself and keep at it.

2. A debit card has the same protections as a credit card.

Yes, it will be harder to obtain your refund in case of a fraud charge but that is because this is money your money. Companies that evaluate the risk want to make sure it is an actual fraud. With a credit card, it’s not your money and the banks are already covered for such, so it’s easy to refund that money.

3. Most debit cards now have the rewards that credit cards have.

I will be honest, using this point of rewards is to drive the point home that credit cards are not any better. I am not encouraging you to go rouge buying all sorts of things in order to obtain points. Use your money wisely. Remember the debit card is money you already have. We are fighting the war and not the battle.

4. Stating the obvious, avoid DEBT.

We see how our own country is fully engraved in debt and we have the audacity to complain about it, yet in our own homes, we do the same thing. The irony in that alone blows my mind. Stay away from debt. Be content with what you have and plan with what little or more you have. There is winning when you have control of your personal finances that are based on being debt free.


The time has come to have our actions follow our words. Our generation was handed a bad hand of accepting debt to be part of our life, that was not our fault. What we do about it is up to us. And if we keep in our ways and let this continue falling into the credit ideology, that is our fault. “We are what we repeatedly do” – Aristotle.

Break the habit, put your credit card to the side and try using a debit card for three to six months. Do not be quick to give up. Just like going to the gym for the first time, you will not see results in the first days but you persist and in six months you see the change. Give the debit card a chance, use your own money, break the habit of relying on the credit companies. Control your destiny with money you have well earned.

Be Your Authentic Self. The Brutal Truths About Life.

Think about what your WHY is. What is your purpose in this world and how can you be of positive influence to you and all those around you? Remember, life is about good relationships. Do not be complacent, make the outward reach and be the difference. Live a life that inspires others to be the best they can be.